Cal's Place - Ahhrooooo! The doggiest smelling place on the web.

What Cal thought of the Dem. National Debates last night

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 8:32 AM 12 comment(s)

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 2:43 PM 15 comment(s)

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 11:40 PM 2 comment(s)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I broke it!

As many of you know, my human is an inventor. This is his latest piece of crap. He told me not to touch it, but I can't resist. It is the BTP 2007b


LEt's see, how do you turn this . . . .
chreeeeeeeeeeIIIIIIIIIIIRWEGGGGGGGGGGS !@!#########22

************TESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****** kghhhhh kghhhhhhh testing . . .
Hi * This is Cal * on the new Bark-to-Typolator * 2007.
It seems to type things in human as I bark them - just like the BTP2005 So the #$%^ what. kinda tuoiwa dkljs ruff ahem!

You * ARE* a * stupid * machine. * I * am * Cal* *Now *go* *get * me * a TREAT**

Staring doesn't work however, what a waste of 5 minutes that just was!!

Is *this * thing . . . On?!!!*

*ruff* *Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhroooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!***

Open the pod bay door Hal . . .
Hal . . . Open the pod bay door . . . . .

Awww never mind.

And here's a good use of human money. Wonder how many meaty bones this is worth?
http://www.justinesmith.net/washington.html

So what's the wierdest thing you've ever seen in dog form?

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 6:30 PM 17 comment(s)

Guitar licks & bone crunching power / Lassie vs. Lord Voldemort

HIYA!!!

Just like Skyler (above) I'm working on creating my first ever rock album. My latest number is called Lassie vs. Lord Voldemort. Inspired by Lassie's win last year over the dark lord himself.


Though Voldy won a few battles, Lassie was triumphant in the end.
HUGE thanks to the creative genius of Sketch Longwood for chronicling the battle and risking his life in the process to record the outcome.

LASSIE vs. LORD VOLDEMORT - click to see who won!

And Uncle Mason's looking good!

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 2:17 PM

Why jumping and licking aren't heroic, dark matter, and a tune challenge

Hey! At first I thought that dog that saved the human using the Heimlich maneuver was such an inspiring story, but then I thought if it were a collie, the jumping up and down thing and the licking the human thing would have just been instinctive afterthoughts, not heroic deeds. If you happen to save a life in the meantime, all the more Lassie-like.

Now discovering the meaning behind this 3D distribution of dark matter in our universe - now that would be something!!!



And thanks for ALL of that email, I read each of your letters at least one-quarter of the way through before I was distracted by the beeping from my Dogberry and had to take another sip from my Guinness bowl and answer by d-mail.

And then it was later:

TUNE CHALLENGE #247
". . . . whose wine, what wine, where the hell did I dine" - 10 milk bones to the first dog who can name that tune and artist.

The Calvinationater

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 12:10 AM 5 comment(s)

MERRY CHRISTMAS VACATION !!!

HI!!!

Thanks for emailing and writing in everybody, my long vacation is going great! Time for the holidays again! No working, no computers, just lots of playing. I love it so much, I'm extending my vacation indefinitely - Whoooooohoooooooo. So this will likely be my last post for who knows how long. Maybe forever!

ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYBODY!

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 10:09 AM 20 comment(s)

Hey Dogs and Cats, what's your favorite thing to do in the Wintertime?

Hi everybody, thanks for all your notes. Yes, I'm still around and busy as ever. And I'm anxiously waiting for the new Lassie DVD to come out, I've been having fun with the cooler weather here in Frostbite Falls. I smell snow in the air and am ready to learn ice hockey this year. Do you think dogs can ice skate?

Hey! what winter sports do you like? Are there any dogs that ski? Or go sledding? And if you don't have snow, what the heck do you do in the Winter?!

Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 1:15 PM 23 comment(s)

Ancient artifacts, Lassie vs. Megatron, Space Probes, et al

Happy Friday! I was walking along the shores of Lake Frostbite today in the rain with my friend Haley the black lab and we stumbled upon this:


Before I had a chance to poop all over it 'n' all, Haley stopped me and gasped a raspy bark that translates in human to:

"Wow, this is an artifact from the mound builders that were here before the Native Americans settled here in this area!"

On closer inspection, it seems to be a piece of pottery with some sort of map on how to get to Frostbite Valley from what's now the Arctic Circle.

But then . . . I took my super magnifying amateur zoomascopic lens attachment for my highly-collectible 1979 Scooby-doo Magnifying Glass/Stopwatch and look what I found inside that small dot on the outer ring of the map:

Imagine! (Insert dreamy way-back sound effect here)
Even back then, some thousands of years ago, there was PEZ! (Albeit very small PEZ)

In other news . . .

• Check out LASSIE VS. MEGATRON.
  
  Lassie wins hands down! BTW, that's my uncle Mason in the last photo on the page. See the movie, it's opening everywhere this month.


• And don't forget to pick up the latest Shaggy Dog adventure on DVD either if you're into that sort of thing.

• In science news, here's something interesting. I'm glad I didn't buy a ticket to ride on THIS!
  

Ten milk bones to any dog who can tell me where this spacecraft is headed and where it was launched from!

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 5:53 PM 25 comment(s)

As Falls Frostbite Falls, so Falls Fall at Lake Frostbite

The rest of the region was under heavy cloud and rain, but as many of you know, due to the mystical properties of this hidden and secret valley, it is always beautiful here this time of year:

The far end of Lake Frostbite where the fish are giant, the water an elixir of youth, and every mosquito is above average. (but so are the bats, so there are few mosquitos to bother us!)
















The sky - can you feel the Arctic currents sneaking in? (Or did the humans leave the refridgerator door open in the cabin again?)















Here's me after deer chasing. My humans came looking for me and said they spent hours searching. They were a bit cranky for a while after that (sometimes humans just don't understand.) Dog am I man-tired.














<- Pirate Kid Ahhhrrrrrr . . . Run Away! Wake the kids, ring the town bell. Or something.



















WHAT DID YOU DO OVER THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND? (if you didn't have a holiday, that's OK, you can still tell!)

Over and out,
Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 2:25 PM 12 comment(s)

Cloud Dog & Five wack things 'bout ME

Carmel had a great idea to put a cloud on her latest post. Do you like clouds? I do. Can you see the dog doing a flying leap in this picture I took the other day?










Now onto lesser and trivial things . . .

5 WACK THINGS ABOUT ME
(Say . . . Is anybody else getting sleepy?)

So, speaking of "flying leap", for all those blasted taggers out there (you know who you are and I'm saying that with great love and admiration) I'm gonna do this just once and no more tagging from here out! There have been several types of tag things lately so what follows is 5 things about me that may be perceived as being a bit wacker and hoon by certain individuals I know.

(I, however, feel they are perfectly normal and can't see why people get their knickers in a twist sometimes . . . ) Anyway, here goes:

1. When I meet people or dogs for the first time I tend to goose them really hard right in the crotch or butt! Whoo ooooo ooooo ahhhhrahooooo!!!!

2. I eat only at night and when I'm chowin down, between every 3 mouthfuls I swallow, I walk around the entire house one time. On my way around, if anyone is sitting on the couch I stand next to them, poke them with my nose and then burp. (and then back to the bowl to have another 3 and so on . . .)

3. I am a Buddhist. (Just kidding, that's just a dogma joke I was saving for Dharmadoggeddon) Actually, I am a practicing Stud. Yep that's my religion lately and I'm stickin' to it.

4. And while I'm on that topic, I am not neutered and my p-thing is enormous (don't want to offend so you better email me for the exact dimensions. But I warn you, it's not for the faint of heart when it gets going if there is a dog in heat nearby.) Somebody thank the man upstairs for me - yeah!

5. And last but not least - I have trained my humans so well that I won't walk out the door or cross the street ever until they give me a loud "OK." They are so trainable, these guys - I love it! Keep the treats flowin' humes, you know what I like . . .

Bonus info: I love to herd my humans up to the bedroom every night (the goosing technique in #1 is great when they are wasting time talking on the phone or reading a book when it's time to get upstairs and go to sleep)

Okay, there's my tagging quota filled for another year. Phew!!!!! Next dog that tags me is gonna get goosed! (Actually, dogs like that a lot more than humans) Now, I think I'm supposed to tag some dogs . . . but wait! I hear my Mom calling me in for supper. Ahhhhh man, too bad I don't have time to tag anyone this year. Oh well, time for venison, potatos and wait, who's that on the couch? It's mom, yeah. She always laughs at my burps . . .

Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 2:18 AM 13 comment(s)

Hey, what kind of dog do you think the "Dog in the Moon" is?

Look at this picture I accidentally snapped while tasting some gooey pink stuff that Rocky spit up on the dock earlier this evening: (BTW, Rocky is a 90 lb. black lab visiting from Utah)

Of course, the moon is a bit too far away to see anything (except romance in the eyes of the one next to you; and in my case, Rocky is definitely out of the question because he is a male AND has the worst dog breath ever)

So. I got my giant ZOOOM lens out and took the awesome shot of the giant orb you see below.

Okay, that's not exactly true. So . . . I stretch the truth a bit sometimes - yes that bone over there was actually a raw steak I had to eat before they ruined it by putting it on the charcoal thingy. Hey, don't you start looking at me like that either.

Actually this picture was taken by my grand uncle Lassie in episode 13 of season 8 of the original series entitled "Screw the commies, the good ol'USA has the coolest dog in space if not the first." Remember that episode? (sigh) It chokes me up just thinking about how Lassie pulls Timmy from that crater when they accidentally crash land on the moon . . . (deeper sigh)

HEY! I swear I see the "DOG IN THE MOON"!!!
















I'm thinking it's not a collie though. Hmmmmmm . . .

more like a Samoyed puppy or something.

(Everybody say "aawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, isn't he cute?)

Hey, what kind of dog do you think the "Dog in the Moon" is?

Anxiously awaiting your expert dog spotting abilities and personality informing opinions. Over and out from Frostbite Falls,

Cal (ever the) Wonderdog

P.S. Okay, okay, the close-up moon picture was taken by Buzz and Neill in 1969 on their way to Neptune. There you have the truth now. Hope you're happy :-)

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 1:11 AM 16 comment(s)

Waiting for action

Look at all these - where are the humans? I want a ride!

So what is everybody up to this Summer? I hope it's more exciting than my day today . . .

Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 2:01 PM 12 comment(s)

Have your humans ever pulled a fast one on you like this?

So I'm on this canoe ride, see. And suddenly my humans pretend they are getting out on this floating dock way out in the lake.

And then when I'm not looking they get back in the canoe and take off without me! Can you believe it?!!

What's up with that? Yeah, I could've jumped off and swam in to shore, but hey, a dog has to have a little respect.

So I waited.

And waited . . .

And then I waited FOREVER just to see if they would be nice and come and get me.

Then I waited even more! Until FINALLY the humans (I won't mention these ne'er do well persons' names) came out and picked me up for a canoe ride into shore.

Sometimes you have to wonder about these humans. That was a dirty trick. WHAT'S THE WORST TRICK YOUR HUMANS HAVE PLAYED ON YOU? And if nobody answers, then that will prove I have the only insensitive jerks for humans in the world. If you DO comment with a story, then I'll know I'm not alone in this cruel world.

So what do you say? Over and out from the lake at Frostbite Falls, MN.

Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 10:26 AM 13 comment(s)

Hey dogs! What's your favorite Summer place to relax?

My favorite summer spot to lay around after a full day's playing at the lake is the sandbox in the picture below. It's up the hill from the lake and just about 40 feet from the cabin door. If you dig down deep enough in the sand, there's always cool, moist stuff down there which is awesome feeling on the old undersides. Hey dogs! What's your favorite Summer place to relax?

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 10:29 AM 15 comment(s)

Summer Fun (walking on water, levitating human pups, mothra, et al)

Hey there, Cal here, live from Frostbite Falls, Minnesota at the foot of the great falls on a wonderful lake where we have a cabin for summer fun.

Lately I've been having fun watching the human pups try to walk on water; they try this every year . . .

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 9:46 PM 13 comment(s)

My good, my good

Sometimes it's fun to prowl around in the kitchen for things the humans might drop on the floor. Especially within the "work triangle" between the island cooktop, the ovens and the fridge. This week I've scored:

- 1/2 of a Ding Dong
- 1 slice of rhubarb crisp crumble
- 1/2 can of tuna
- Hamburger
- scrambled eggs remnants (screggnants)
- 1 slice of roast beast
- 1/4 buttered toast w/black current preserves
- Some unknown green sweet sticky stuff that was stuck on the inside of the dishwasher


It helps that I'm really fast and that my humans are messy when preparing meals. And the best part: they blame themselves and not me! I've become a pro at standing behind them when they are prepping something and they forget that I'm there.

One stumble, and I'm eating rhubarb crisp crumble.
One bump on their legs, and I'm eating eggs.
And so it goes . . .

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 8:48 PM 18 comment(s)

Hot Chicks, Cool Mom

It took Mom about an hour to walk her chicks the 12 blocks to get from the neighborhood park where the ducklings hatched to the river to meet up with Dad, who went ahead to secure their new home. As you can imagine, the new ducklings are a ways away from flight and this is a particularly vulnerable time for the fam. Along the way, there were giant crows following them and a hawk circling around the destination.




































After a short rest for the hot and tired chicks and with a little help, they made it across the last road and down the path to the river.

Good luck guys!

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 5:13 PM 6 comment(s)

American League Underdogs

This year I will again predict that my fellow underdogs, the Minnesota Twins, will take their division, win in the AL playoffs and take the Series in four games.














That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 7:22 PM 9 comment(s)

Frostbite Falls - Where could it be?

In the mailbag this week, Frappy from San Jose, California, asks:


Where in blazes is Frostbite Falls, Cal?!!? Is it in Smoochiching County, MN? (that's what my friend Rumi the BF tells me..)



Hi Frappy, Cal here, always at the ready to answer your burning questions; however, I'm not allowed to get TOO specific with the town's location.

Kootchiching, Smootchiching.
Frostbite Falls is located in beautiful Koochiching County, Minnesota within about a 40 minute drive of Lake Woebegon. I guess our county rhymes with "smoochiching" so your friend was close.

The name Koochiching comes from the Cree word "Ouchichiq"; the Ojibway people (who took really awesome care of this land before the European settlers came in and messed up a lot of it) applied this name to both Rainy Lake and Rainy River.

The Hidden Secret
The map below shows where Koochinching County is; Frostbite Falls is nestled within a lush, hidden patch of pristine land known only to it's inhabitants and their relatives (who are sworn to secrecy when very young, usually right after being baptized by a local Pastor and Fishing Guide.)

My Hero, Otar
By the way, a bit of trivia here - most fishing guides and pastors up here are descendents of one Otar Ingwe Lightfoot, a wise man who discovered Frostbite Valley about 178 years ago. And it was he who stumbled upon the famous Frostbite Falls themselves which give inhabitants of this area an unbelievable zest for life, abnormally high fertility rates, uncanny ability to ice skate with hockey sticks immediately after birth, and natural rosy cheeks.)

Koochiching County, Minnesota, USA.




Can you see me waving in this picture?









Thanks for the question Frappy, smell ya later!

Cal

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 7:25 AM 6 comment(s)

As dogs dog dogs laying down, so formerly horizontal dogs dog formerly vertical dogs now horizontal

Sometimes it's hard to get your best buddy to GET UP AND PLAY!!! You try pawing at them, biting them, pushing them and . . . nothing. Then when it's you that's trying to nap, they come and bother you. I just say, "like, where were you when I wanted to play, huh?"

In the picture to the left, I am appealing to my sidekick (out of view in this shot) to find a ball or something, 'cause that's the only thing that will get black labs off the floor sometimes.

If anyone has some tips for getting lazybones dogs up to play, I'd sure appreciate it. Ok, I've had enough! I give up. Dumb labs, sheeeesh!

Cal (the "I'm not wasting MY day away sleeping" Wonderdog)














(Editor's note: Haley went on to pester Cal (who took a nap) to get up for the next half an hour after the picture above was taken. Which just goes to show you that in Frostbite Falls, it is very hard for dogs to let sleeping dogs lie. Or something like that :)

posted by Cal the Wonderdog @ 12:05 AM 10 comment(s)